


Debutante

by bastardmice (itsahardyparty)



Category: Rammstein
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Happy Ending, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Party, Romance, Trans, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23938465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsahardyparty/pseuds/bastardmice
Summary: Schneider has come out to her friends and bandmates, but now the difficulty of gender presentation has presented itself as an issue. Sometimes it feels easier to take the path of least resistance.
Relationships: Till Lindemann/Christoph Schneider
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	Debutante

Till rapped two knuckles lightly on the bedroom door, leaning closer to hear any noise that may be coming from the other side. "Schneider? Are you alright?"

She was not alright, in fact. Everything looked all wrong. She tugged at the hem of her dress again, struggling to adjust it so that she would finally see something passable in her appearance. This was a nightmare, and she looked terribly silly. How was it that this dress had looked so lovely in the changing room, the lipstick so enchanting in the privacy of the bathroom mirror? Now it just seemed pathetic. She was never going to look the way she thought she should, had she been dealt a more auspicious hand at birth. All of this pained her in its terrible, cruel unfairness.

"Can I come in?"

Till's voice drew her out of her mental spiral, and she sighed and shook her head, pulling a makeup wipe out of the package. "Yes, I suppose."

The door cracked open, and Till grinned at her. "Wow. You look--"

"Don't get too excited. I'm changing."

He frowned, shutting the door behind him. "What? Why?"

"Because this was never a good idea, and I look ridiculous." Schneider sighed and sat on the edge of the mattress, turning away from the mirror. It mocked her, pronouncing her every insecurity. Till approached slowly and sat down beside her, gently resting a hand on her leg. 

"I think you look beautiful," he ventured, frowning more deeply when she lifted the wipe to take her makeup off. "Darling--"

"Another day." She shook her head and rested her cheek against Till's shoulder. "Not today. Not with all the boys coming over--I can't do it." 

He nodded slowly, wrapping an arm around her and stroking his fingers through her short, dark curls. "Alright. If you aren't ready." Schneider peered up at him, and he raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You gave in awfully easily."

Till snorted and cracked a smile. Truly, she was something else. "Well, what do you want me to say? I'm certainly not going to force you into something that you don't feel comfortable with. Is that what you were expecting?"

"...I was expecting a pep-talk, actually." She wasn't looking at him, eyes trained instead on her vanity, and blushing lightly with the request. 

Till couldn't help himself and actually laughed out loud, giggling even harder when she hid her face in his chest. "I have never had anyone _ask_ for a pep-talk before."

"Well, sometimes it's necessary!" she huffed, unable to hide a bashful smile of her own. "Go on, then. Do it."

"Ah, okay." Till stroked the back of her neck soothingly, taking one of her hands with his free one. "Do you remember when you first started playing the drums?"

Schneider nodded, thinking back to her younger days. She had played a handful of instruments--even taken up the French horn in university--but the drums had always been her true love. The day she'd first picked up a pair of sticks, felt that weight in her hands, and beamed as she'd whacked the crash cymbal was still there in her mind, clear as light. There was nothing else in the world that was comparable, and she'd known from that very moment that she wanted to play the drums for the rest of her life. "...yes. Of course."

"Well, was it easy?"

"No. Of course not, you know that. You play. There's a lot to worry about, you have to move both hands and both feet and worry about timing. It's challenging."

"So why didn't you quit?" Till prompted, pressing his forehead against her temple. "It was so terribly difficult. And I'm sure you sucked at first."

Schneider snorted and tried to squirm away from him, but dissolved into a fit of giggles when he squeezed her tighter. "I didn't suck, _you_ sucked."

"Alright, I sucked. Why didn't you quit?"

She took a moment to consider it. She was sure it had occurred to her, to put the sticks down and never pick them back up. But that had never happened. "...I don't know. Because I always knew I wanted to."

"Maybe because you knew all the struggling would be worth it once you got comfortable," Till supplied. "And why did you ask for a pep-talk? If it was so much easier to just put on pants like always, why not just do it?" He nudged her gently. "Could it possibly be because you _wanted_ to be talked into this? Because it's something you really want to do after all?"

"Alright, thank you Mr. Holmes." Schneider rolled her eyes playfully, blushing again as Till pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Yes, I guess you've gotten to the bottom of it then." Still, she paused, tugging at the hem of the dress again. Nobody ever said it would be easy. 

"Your mind is playing tricks on you again," he whispered against her hair. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I would never lie to you." 

"I know. I know, it's...it's hard for me to see that sometimes. This beautiful woman you keep referring to."

Till nodded understandingly, lightly drawing figure-8's in the curve of Schneider's shoulder blade. She shivered, and he smiled. "I so wish you could see what I see," he murmured. "Everything would make so much more sense." 

"...it would?" She peered up at him, a deep frown set into her lovely features. 

"Oh, yes." Till nodded again, cupping her chin lightly. "Oh, yes. If you saw what I did for even a moment, it would change everything. You would see this woman I see and be completely stunned by her radiance. Her beauty would leave you speechless. Because that's what it does to me. Every morning, I have the immense privilege of waking up next to her. And...I'm so overwhelmed that it's hard to form words."

Schneider let out a choked laugh, wiping fresh tears off her cheeks. Ever the poet, this one. "Okay. Okay."

"Okay." Till grinned and pulled her into his chest, taking her hands and kissing her fingers. "And I will be here the whole time. But you have to do this, only because I know you will regret it if you don't." 

"Yes, yes. You're right." Schneider sniffled and gave her eyes one more good wipe, then stood up and straightened out her dress. "Alright."

As she started out of the room, Till cocked his head. "Where are you going?"

"I have to make myself presentable. I cannot host anybody looking like this."

"You don't have to do very much," he called after her, reclining on their bed and folding his hands over his stomach. "You already look breathtaking." 

"Oh, you're such a flirt," she scolded, grabbing her makeup bag on the way out. "The boys will be here soon. Change out of your pajamas, please."

Till faithfully changed his clothes and combed his hair, even throwing on suspenders so he could be sure to look presentable for his girlfriend's sake. It wasn't very long before there was a knock on the door. He perked up and started out of the bedroom, passing the still-closed bathroom door. He stopped, and winced. "Schneider?" he murmured. "The boys are here..."

"Let them in, my love," she replied, sounding natural in a way that left Till extraordinarily relieved. She really was alright. "I'll be out in just a minute. Finishing touches."

"Okay." He nodded dutifully and started away, then paused one more time. "...Schneider?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Schneider smiled into the bathroom mirror. "I love you too."

Till opened the door and grinned. All of their friends had come together, each of their arms occupied with various gifts and offerings. "Come in, come in..."

"Where is the lady of the hour?" Flake asked, toeing off his shoes at the door. "Is she alright?"

"Yes. She was a little nervous at first, but she'll be down soon. Still getting ready."

"She has nothing to be nervous about. She knows that, right?" Paul asked. 

Till just smiled warmly at all of them. "I see you've been practicing."

"All week!" Richard announced proudly. "Come on, before she comes down. I've brought a sign, help me hang it up." 

Till and Richard unfurled a white sign with baby-pink lettering and scrambled to pin it up on the wall, and they finished in the very nick of time. The click of a heel on the top step alerted all of them, and they slowly gathered around the foot of the stairs to look up at her. 

Breathtaking. She was breathtaking. The sunlight from the hall window streamed in behind her and caught the floral pattern of her new dress, throwing blue and purple glimmers of light along the walls. It also caught on her hair, the blonde wig she'd taken to wearing while she grew her own hair out, and the golden curls crowned her like a halo. The color on her cheeks and lips, the rich pinks and reds of well-applied makeup, gave her the likeness of a portrait of Renaissance royalty. Her exposed collarbones and fine, angular shoulders seemed to be carved from marble. Whatever god had put her on this earth certainly had an artist's eye.

Paul whistled, and Flake smacked him.

"Wow," Till murmured, staring starry-eyed up at her. She was halfway down the stairs now, and grinning at her ridiculous partner. 

"Close your mouth." She looked around at all her friends. "Hello."

All of them were smiling so hard they it felt as if it might split their faces in two. Of course they had come here to be supportive--as long as Schneider was happy, so were they, but there were a few errant fears that upon seeing her, they would have a different reaction. They could not possibly have been more off base. Seeing her this way, the way she was always meant to be, felt so natural. It was beautiful to witness. 

"Flake!" Paul suddenly gasped. "No, you ruined the sign!" 

"I improved the sign," he responded. "I made it more accurate."

Schneider's eyes were drawn to the large sign on the wall, and she broke out into a huge smile. It was a baby announcement sign, that Flake had taken the liberty of correcting himself with a black marker and that distinctive block print handwriting. The edited sign now read: "It's A ~~Girl!~~ WOMAN"

"Flake!! You wrecked it, it looks awful now!"

"Well she isn't a _girl_ , is she? She's an adult woman! She pays taxes!" 

"It doesn't matter! It's the principle!"

"I didn't have a pink marker!!"

During their little squabble, Schneider had descended the rest of the stairs, and now stood before the two of them. "I love it."

"What?" Paul frowned. "You don't have to flatter us. It was Richard's fault anyway for letting Flake scribble on the banner--"

"I'm not flattering you. I never do." She grinned. "I love it. Thank you. This is going to be a very special practice session."

"About that," Till piped up. "I may have been dishonest with you."

Schneider's eyes narrowed immediately and her lips pressed into a terse line. "What?"

"This isn't a practice session," Ollie supplied, presenting her with a lovely bouquet of flowers, in varying shades of pink and white. "We're throwing you a party."

"Surprise!" Paul popped out from behind Ollie, wagging his "jazz hands."

Schneider's face relaxed from the beginnings of anger into shock. "...wait...what?"

"What you're doing is very brave. It's hard to do, you know? And we're so, so proud of you. You deserve to be happy."

"And we all brought you something!" Richard announced, holding up a Sephora bag. "I have the best taste in makeup, obviously, so...here. Till told me what you usually like to wear. Go on, you can take it."

Stunned, Schneider slowly accepted the bag from him and peeked into it. Lipstick, blush, eye shadow, mascara, nail polish... She turned to Till, blue eyes still wide with unprocessed surprise. "You? You planned all this? This was...you?"

"Yes." He smiled a little and squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry to catch you off guard like this. But I wanted you to be surprised."

"And we knew if he told you, you'd refuse," Paul added. "Oh! I got you something too." From his back pocket, Paul presented Schneider with a brand new pair of drumsticks. They were the most god-awful shade of hot pink, and by far the tackiest thing that Schneider had ever seen. She absolutely adored them. "Thank you, Paul." She grinned and pulled him into a hug. 

"This dress is very pretty, you know," Paul commented against her shoulder. "Excellent choice." 

"Till helped me pick it out." 

Flake cleared his throat next and passed her a coat box, the type that came from a department store. "It's a bathrobe." 

Schneider lifted an eyebrow at him, but still grinned at the odd choice. "Is that so? I already have a bathrobe, Flake."

"Obviously. I got you a _better_ bathrobe. Just open it." 

And better it was. The package had been deceptively light, because what had come out of it was _massive._ A hugely thick, fluffy, powder-pink bathrobe that was almost more like a blanket than an article of clothing had emerged. Schneider giggled, tickled by its immense volume. "Oh, this is wonderful. Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome. It's such a burden to be the only one who can shop for women." 

"I got you something too," said Till, and Schneider turned to smile at him. He held out a small jewelry box and used two fingers to pop it open. The necklace inside was simple: not overly gaudy or flashy, but beautiful all the same. It was a small, gold, heart-shaped pendant. It was engraved, and the tiny letters simply read, "LOVE."

"Oh..." Schneider pressed a hand over her mouth and just stared at it for a moment, before taking the box and examining it. "Oh, it's so beautiful. Thank you."

"Just like the boyfriend to outshine the rest of us." 

"Would you like me to put it on you?" Till murmured, smiling when she nodded eagerly. "Okay. Turn around." 

She beamed at the rest of her friends as she spun, and Till draped the necklace across her collar and struggled to clasp it. "Thank you all so much. I have wonderful friends."

"Well, it just so happens that we all also have a wonderful friend." Paul beamed at her. "You don't have to thank us for this, that's silly." 

"We also ordered your favorite," Till chimed in, finally securing the necklace. Goddamn thick fingers. "Pierogi."

Schneider gasped. "From that place I like?"

"Yes, it will be here in a little."

Flake rifled around in the backpack he'd brought along and presented two DVDs. "And your favorite movies."

"And snacks."

Schneider blinked slowly. "You didn't have to do all this for me..."

"Nonsense. It's a party in your honor."

"And we all know you much too well." Richard smiled and squeezed her shoulder. "We love you." 

Ollie was the first to go in for a group hug, using his extensive wingspan to pull Schneider, Till _and_ Paul in. Paul pulled Flake in, and Richard wriggled in underneath Till's bicep. A sniffle emerged from the middle of the hug-knot, and the rest of them started giggling. 

"Don't laugh at me!" she pouted, sniffling harder and wiping at her eyes. "You assholes, you're ruining my makeup."

Ollie handed her a tissue, and she nestled against Till's chest. "Thank you." 

They were all just so happy to find that she liked what they'd done. Of course, it hadn't been any kind of imposition. Schneider was important to all of them, and so was her happiness. And showing her that was the least they could possibly do.

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case it wasn't clear--the thing they've all been practicing is getting Schneider's pronouns right :)


End file.
